I hope I'll remember to take a picture of my room before I move out this Saturday. Would make a nice 'Before' picture (I kinda regret having not taken the pictures before I packed up all my stuff; now I'd have to depend on mental pictures to remember where everything used to be placed). Plus, most of my growing up years of my life were spent within these surroundings I've grown so fond of. Wardrobes, desks, beds I've had since I was 12, I know I'll miss them all.
On the other hand, it's pretty fun building my room from scratch. Never knew interior design could be so interesting. Can't wait to see the end result :)
Showing posts with label heartfelt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartfelt. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Piece by piece
It was imminent. Unavoidable. I knew part of me had to go some day.
And so I did it. Knick-knacks I had saved time and time again, I heaved them aside as I separated them away from those I still treasure. These I'm saving; until the next time I have to go through this ordeal again...
It was an incredible shame. Many of those that I had to bin was little items I'd saved, items I'd deemed too precious to use. How ironic it is that at the end of it all, they all suffer the same fate as the pile of rubbish to be buried with them.
As painful as it may seem, in a masochistic sorta way I do enjoy doing this occasionally. De-cluttering. I love how it feels to be rid of the junk that no longer mattered :) It really does invoke the feeling of being in control.
And I love sorting through the items that have made up parts of the memories of my growing years. Old diaries which dwelled on my little insecurities, photos of gawkish us in those awkward years, letters and cards and naughty notes from secret society friends and pen friends. Yes, those were the internet-less days when we still wrote letters and cards to each other. I still remember how I used to pride on the amount of cards I would get on my birthday. It might seem really funny now, but I was a young teenage girl then and my friends meant the world to me.
Some items upon touch, brought lingering memories and a wistful smile to my face. Photos of great friends venturing into independence and unchartered lands. Some I cringed at, shame casting a shadow on my mind as I quickly wedge it into the box I was packing. While others, such as this video tape I labelled with my name, I had no recollection whatsoever of how had it had come about.
Whether or not they were good, bad or forgotten memories, I just could not bring myself to throw these things out. They had made me into part of what I am today. No doubt, I went through major changes throughout different periods of my life. But the essence of me has remained - the sentimental part of which is typing this out :)
And so I did it. Knick-knacks I had saved time and time again, I heaved them aside as I separated them away from those I still treasure. These I'm saving; until the next time I have to go through this ordeal again...
It was an incredible shame. Many of those that I had to bin was little items I'd saved, items I'd deemed too precious to use. How ironic it is that at the end of it all, they all suffer the same fate as the pile of rubbish to be buried with them.
As painful as it may seem, in a masochistic sorta way I do enjoy doing this occasionally. De-cluttering. I love how it feels to be rid of the junk that no longer mattered :) It really does invoke the feeling of being in control.
And I love sorting through the items that have made up parts of the memories of my growing years. Old diaries which dwelled on my little insecurities, photos of gawkish us in those awkward years, letters and cards and naughty notes from secret society friends and pen friends. Yes, those were the internet-less days when we still wrote letters and cards to each other. I still remember how I used to pride on the amount of cards I would get on my birthday. It might seem really funny now, but I was a young teenage girl then and my friends meant the world to me.
Some items upon touch, brought lingering memories and a wistful smile to my face. Photos of great friends venturing into independence and unchartered lands. Some I cringed at, shame casting a shadow on my mind as I quickly wedge it into the box I was packing. While others, such as this video tape I labelled with my name, I had no recollection whatsoever of how had it had come about.
Whether or not they were good, bad or forgotten memories, I just could not bring myself to throw these things out. They had made me into part of what I am today. No doubt, I went through major changes throughout different periods of my life. But the essence of me has remained - the sentimental part of which is typing this out :)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
As I watch the world pass by...
Sometimes it scares me how it seems like my life appears to be on a continuous slow mo while everyone else's lives barrel forward. The wedding. The new husband. The new wife. New parents and their new children. The high flying careers. The fancy apartment and its state of the art gym. The next Air Asia holiday. The spanking new thingamajigs.
(I must say, Facebook is a great tool to voyeur on others. Teehee.)
I sometimes wonder, would things be different now if I had chosen the right path from the very beginning? Would my own Facebook page be packed filled with the above elements? Would the right path then would had been the right path? I had thought my path then was right for me, but years on I have realised the naivety that pervaded my mind. During dinner earlier I spoke of immaturity. Truth be told, I was nowhere near grown up myself. I was Queen of Irresponsibility, Ignorance, Incorrigibility. (Note the jarring discrepancy with my company's three I's. Hahaha.)
So what has gone wrong in my own life? Why had I made such bad decisions? What happened to the dreams I was chasing? Have they merely been dreams? I KNOW they still matter. I lust after pleasure, and I crave for intimacy. I want to exude passion in a way that it focuses attention on me. I am hungry for success. I dream big dreams. Always have. Which is why many decisions I've made in the past have been inclined to what I had perceived as greatness. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be seen as special. To have the privilege of doing something that not many of my kind could do. It was supposed to be the best decision I had ever made.
But it wasn't. It was one of the biggest decisions I had made in life, and one of the worst I ever made. It was a great lesson, but a regrettable one.
I figure disillusion has set in sometime in the past year. Or maybe 5 years ago. I can't be sure. I am not getting to where I want to get to fast enough. Working life hasn't been all I had imagined it to be. Realisation has hit me.
I've realised that am not happy. It scares me that I am at the wrong end of my 20's and that I have yet to accomplish many things in life.
I look around and suddenly everyone is married, promoted, or migrated.
I need to move forward to the next big thing. Happiness can't be that elusive.
(I must say, Facebook is a great tool to voyeur on others. Teehee.)
I sometimes wonder, would things be different now if I had chosen the right path from the very beginning? Would my own Facebook page be packed filled with the above elements? Would the right path then would had been the right path? I had thought my path then was right for me, but years on I have realised the naivety that pervaded my mind. During dinner earlier I spoke of immaturity. Truth be told, I was nowhere near grown up myself. I was Queen of Irresponsibility, Ignorance, Incorrigibility. (Note the jarring discrepancy with my company's three I's. Hahaha.)
So what has gone wrong in my own life? Why had I made such bad decisions? What happened to the dreams I was chasing? Have they merely been dreams? I KNOW they still matter. I lust after pleasure, and I crave for intimacy. I want to exude passion in a way that it focuses attention on me. I am hungry for success. I dream big dreams. Always have. Which is why many decisions I've made in the past have been inclined to what I had perceived as greatness. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be seen as special. To have the privilege of doing something that not many of my kind could do. It was supposed to be the best decision I had ever made.
But it wasn't. It was one of the biggest decisions I had made in life, and one of the worst I ever made. It was a great lesson, but a regrettable one.
I figure disillusion has set in sometime in the past year. Or maybe 5 years ago. I can't be sure. I am not getting to where I want to get to fast enough. Working life hasn't been all I had imagined it to be. Realisation has hit me.
I've realised that am not happy. It scares me that I am at the wrong end of my 20's and that I have yet to accomplish many things in life.
I look around and suddenly everyone is married, promoted, or migrated.
I need to move forward to the next big thing. Happiness can't be that elusive.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
So cradle your head in your hands and breathe...
For the ten millionth time in my life, I've feel like I'm standing at the bottom of the well looking up. Up at the bright circle at a distance beyond reach, the circle which you know opens to a whole different world, a world where darkness ceases and sunlight embraces.
There's one of me up there somewhere. I need to climb out this miserable vent and hunt her down.
There's one of me up there somewhere. I need to climb out this miserable vent and hunt her down.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Tread softly...
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
He Wishes for the Cloths of Heavens
-William Butler Yeats-
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
He Wishes for the Cloths of Heavens
-William Butler Yeats-
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Void
I normally blog only when I'm really upset, so it's actually a good thing that I blog so infrequently.
It would simply mean that I'm leading a good life with nothing particularly major to whine about :D
Nevertheless, I wanna try to maintain regular updates.... Hmmm I know I've said this a gazillion times........ Oh well, we'll see how it goes :)
So is there something upsetting me that I need to blog about, hence my presence here? Not exactly. Although I really do feel a lil annoyed with myself, for having been so distracted and slacking at work. Sitting around with friends earlier discussing lost opportunities and such, I suddenly felt somewhat blessed that I have a job that is presenting me with really quite incredible lessons. But instead of giving it the 101% attention that it deserves, not just for the sake of the team but really for myself as well, I am taking it for granted. I'm not thinking hard enough, not working hard enough.. basically not doing enough.
I need goddamn motivation. Where has my drive disappeared to? =/
It would simply mean that I'm leading a good life with nothing particularly major to whine about :D
Nevertheless, I wanna try to maintain regular updates.... Hmmm I know I've said this a gazillion times........ Oh well, we'll see how it goes :)
So is there something upsetting me that I need to blog about, hence my presence here? Not exactly. Although I really do feel a lil annoyed with myself, for having been so distracted and slacking at work. Sitting around with friends earlier discussing lost opportunities and such, I suddenly felt somewhat blessed that I have a job that is presenting me with really quite incredible lessons. But instead of giving it the 101% attention that it deserves, not just for the sake of the team but really for myself as well, I am taking it for granted. I'm not thinking hard enough, not working hard enough.. basically not doing enough.
I need goddamn motivation. Where has my drive disappeared to? =/
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
3:38 am
I have been sitting here for the past 10 minutes.. typing and retyping sentences after sentences after sentences. Too many thoughts, too brain dead to fully comprehend them, hence the mixed emotions I'm feeling now. I still can't place a finger on what I'm anxious about exactly, and it's frustrating to say the least.
Without realising it, I have become a rather bitter, unforgiving and egoistical bitch over the 20 odd years I have been living. I am no longer patient enough to empathise. I am less tolerant of people's faults.
It's a painful realisation: I have turned cold.
So much so that I no longer experience joy in its fullest intensity. People or events no longer touch me as much as it used to. I shrug off matters which used to mean a great deal to me.
All of these the effect of life's experiences?
What a colourful life it has been. Many ups and far too many downs. Painful and deep cuts which have conditioned me into coping with issues the dysfunctional ways that I do.
And it's irksome because I sometimes DO realise that I'm working my issues in the worst possible ways, but my selfish ego often stops me from admitting that I could have been wrong. I have been careless with others' feelings. Guilty of the practising one of the main no-no's I preach to others about: Taking things for granted. Taking people for granted.
Taking my own self for granted.
I seem to be moving through life in the monotonous, mechanical motion it has come to be without even realising how I had fixed the nuts and bolts together.
Instead of becoming enlightened as one is supposed to as she progresses through life, I feel more confused and troubled than ever. My negativity rears its ugly head far too often than I would like it to.
It really saddens me that the happy, vibrant part of me is slowly losing out to the bitchy, petty me that I have become.
I miss my own laughters.
Without realising it, I have become a rather bitter, unforgiving and egoistical bitch over the 20 odd years I have been living. I am no longer patient enough to empathise. I am less tolerant of people's faults.
It's a painful realisation: I have turned cold.
So much so that I no longer experience joy in its fullest intensity. People or events no longer touch me as much as it used to. I shrug off matters which used to mean a great deal to me.
All of these the effect of life's experiences?
What a colourful life it has been. Many ups and far too many downs. Painful and deep cuts which have conditioned me into coping with issues the dysfunctional ways that I do.
And it's irksome because I sometimes DO realise that I'm working my issues in the worst possible ways, but my selfish ego often stops me from admitting that I could have been wrong. I have been careless with others' feelings. Guilty of the practising one of the main no-no's I preach to others about: Taking things for granted. Taking people for granted.
Taking my own self for granted.
I seem to be moving through life in the monotonous, mechanical motion it has come to be without even realising how I had fixed the nuts and bolts together.
Instead of becoming enlightened as one is supposed to as she progresses through life, I feel more confused and troubled than ever. My negativity rears its ugly head far too often than I would like it to.
It really saddens me that the happy, vibrant part of me is slowly losing out to the bitchy, petty me that I have become.
I miss my own laughters.
An expensive lesson
I think my body clock has been screwed up beyond repair. What a weekend it had been!
What was supposed to be a one night affair became a full blown weekend adventure with minimal sleep and massive obsessive thoughts with winning. At the end of it, when the exhilaration from all the money being passed back and forth fizzled out, my brain was numb and simply too drained to really figure out the effect of the loss on me until my next paycheque comes in.
It was expensive, that's for sure. And also scary how unrestrained sometimes I could be.
What was supposed to be a one night affair became a full blown weekend adventure with minimal sleep and massive obsessive thoughts with winning. At the end of it, when the exhilaration from all the money being passed back and forth fizzled out, my brain was numb and simply too drained to really figure out the effect of the loss on me until my next paycheque comes in.
It was expensive, that's for sure. And also scary how unrestrained sometimes I could be.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thoughts
Tonight I'm feeling unhappy.
Has it got to do with something that someone pointed out today, whether or not it was true? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe just a little. Yes, just a little. I have decided that it wasn't worth my time or energy being upset with what other people think of me. I have decided that I would base my self worth on my own perceptions, not others'. Especially when they weren't true, and were mainly inaccurate interpretations of my personality.
While tossing and turning on my bed just a while ago, something crossed my mind. It's true that I do have a tendency of sticking to my comfort zone. Just like sometimes how I would choose to spend time with him, rather than going out to meet people, simply because I am comfortable with him. Maybe from now onwards, I shouldn't and I wouldn't.
So I do have my guilty moments of cosying up to my comfort zone... but I do believe that I have done as much as I could to break my level of comfort. I believe that I am meant for greater things in life and have taken some steps (albeit small ones) to achieve some certain goals. It's true that most of these successes have not materialised. And until now, at the age of 26, I am still rather clueless about how to go about realising them.
And this is probably what I am unhappy about tonight.
Has it got to do with something that someone pointed out today, whether or not it was true? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe just a little. Yes, just a little. I have decided that it wasn't worth my time or energy being upset with what other people think of me. I have decided that I would base my self worth on my own perceptions, not others'. Especially when they weren't true, and were mainly inaccurate interpretations of my personality.
While tossing and turning on my bed just a while ago, something crossed my mind. It's true that I do have a tendency of sticking to my comfort zone. Just like sometimes how I would choose to spend time with him, rather than going out to meet people, simply because I am comfortable with him. Maybe from now onwards, I shouldn't and I wouldn't.
So I do have my guilty moments of cosying up to my comfort zone... but I do believe that I have done as much as I could to break my level of comfort. I believe that I am meant for greater things in life and have taken some steps (albeit small ones) to achieve some certain goals. It's true that most of these successes have not materialised. And until now, at the age of 26, I am still rather clueless about how to go about realising them.
And this is probably what I am unhappy about tonight.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
When others don't have faith
Another blog entry 5 minutes after I've published my previous entry? After everything I've said about filling up this blog? Wow, I must really be trying to prove something!
Hahahahaha. well, I guess I am in need of pouring my heart out somewhere. And this place seems perfect at the time being.
For some time now, I've been thinking.. about what exactly are my expectations from life. There are the usual - good job, happy marriage, early retirement etc. These are my goals, in a nutshell. Simple and achievable, you all say?
Well, happy marriage and early retirement are simply unthinkable at the moment. So let's discuss with the job bit. Some of you may know that I have recently put myself up in the employment market, seeking a job aiming to fulfill certain needs - basic, belongingness and self esteem. Basic needs in terms of grub in my tummy and a roof over my head. Needs of belonging in terms of myself fitting in with the rest of my peers who are mostly working and some earning big bucks. Self esteem needs in terms of a job to enhance my self esteem - that I have the abilities and capabilities to contribute to the society as a competent human being.
So I walked into the interview room today feeling totally confident and positive about clinching this position, no problem. That was, however, me at the peak of my confidence all day. With each passing minute of the day, I slowly began doubting myself. Why did they give each other THE LOOK, was my salary expectation too high? How could I forget to mention a detail so important that could have been THE decisive element in their decision to hire me or not hire me? Why didn't the other lady come and interview me as well, did I fail her test the other day? Why have I forgotten to ask the other important questions, that would have emphasized strongly on my interest to work there?
I tore out bits of hair everytime something else struck me after the interview. "Shit! I forgot to do this". "Fcuk! I forgot about that". All the time wishing there was something I could do to turn back time.
Maybe it's no biggie. It's only ONE job interview.. there'll be others.
Yeah, for sure there'll be others. But this is one of the only two interviews I really wanted to do well in.
What luck had it that I actually scored THE two job interviews that I had hoped for! I had been extremely pleased when I found out, and began preparing as much as I could. My plan was to impress these people senselessly, and when the ball is in both my courts.. *rubs hands in glee*.. The bargaining power would be in my hand, and my ego inflated.
I guess you could say that I have certain expectations about myself. And it's extremely extremely disheartening that I have disappointed the person mattered most to myself - me.
It doesn't help when significant others also stabbed at your already bleeding ego. Your worst fears are realised. That you may actually be incompetent after all.
My self esteem was up in flames at the end of it. It has been struck where it hurts most.
How could I not feel the pain? For a long time I've been wondering if there's seriously something wrong with me. What else could possibly explain the looks of scorn thrown around the house in my presence?
I have hoped for this future job to be a new beginning. Somewhere I would be able to prove my worth. I have been waiting for this for the longest time.
So I really hate feeling like this. Like there was nothing in me that people could take seriously. Like I have nothing to show for myself. Like this flaw would forever be imprinted on me.
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I am.
And the more painful it becomes.
But you know what? I'm gonna sleep this off. When all forms of therapy fail, throw yourself on the bed and start counting sheep.
Nah. I shall count Mini Coopers. :D
Hahahahaha. well, I guess I am in need of pouring my heart out somewhere. And this place seems perfect at the time being.
For some time now, I've been thinking.. about what exactly are my expectations from life. There are the usual - good job, happy marriage, early retirement etc. These are my goals, in a nutshell. Simple and achievable, you all say?
Well, happy marriage and early retirement are simply unthinkable at the moment. So let's discuss with the job bit. Some of you may know that I have recently put myself up in the employment market, seeking a job aiming to fulfill certain needs - basic, belongingness and self esteem. Basic needs in terms of grub in my tummy and a roof over my head. Needs of belonging in terms of myself fitting in with the rest of my peers who are mostly working and some earning big bucks. Self esteem needs in terms of a job to enhance my self esteem - that I have the abilities and capabilities to contribute to the society as a competent human being.
So I walked into the interview room today feeling totally confident and positive about clinching this position, no problem. That was, however, me at the peak of my confidence all day. With each passing minute of the day, I slowly began doubting myself. Why did they give each other THE LOOK, was my salary expectation too high? How could I forget to mention a detail so important that could have been THE decisive element in their decision to hire me or not hire me? Why didn't the other lady come and interview me as well, did I fail her test the other day? Why have I forgotten to ask the other important questions, that would have emphasized strongly on my interest to work there?
I tore out bits of hair everytime something else struck me after the interview. "Shit! I forgot to do this". "Fcuk! I forgot about that". All the time wishing there was something I could do to turn back time.
Maybe it's no biggie. It's only ONE job interview.. there'll be others.
Yeah, for sure there'll be others. But this is one of the only two interviews I really wanted to do well in.
What luck had it that I actually scored THE two job interviews that I had hoped for! I had been extremely pleased when I found out, and began preparing as much as I could. My plan was to impress these people senselessly, and when the ball is in both my courts.. *rubs hands in glee*.. The bargaining power would be in my hand, and my ego inflated.
I guess you could say that I have certain expectations about myself. And it's extremely extremely disheartening that I have disappointed the person mattered most to myself - me.
It doesn't help when significant others also stabbed at your already bleeding ego. Your worst fears are realised. That you may actually be incompetent after all.
My self esteem was up in flames at the end of it. It has been struck where it hurts most.
How could I not feel the pain? For a long time I've been wondering if there's seriously something wrong with me. What else could possibly explain the looks of scorn thrown around the house in my presence?
I have hoped for this future job to be a new beginning. Somewhere I would be able to prove my worth. I have been waiting for this for the longest time.
So I really hate feeling like this. Like there was nothing in me that people could take seriously. Like I have nothing to show for myself. Like this flaw would forever be imprinted on me.
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I am.
And the more painful it becomes.
But you know what? I'm gonna sleep this off. When all forms of therapy fail, throw yourself on the bed and start counting sheep.
Nah. I shall count Mini Coopers. :D
Essentially me
I've moved around many blogs over years I've been blogging. This is probably my 7th or 8th blog, from the ones I regularly updated to the ones in which I'd posted perhaps only one or two entries. I'm not sure how long this will last. But I guess I'll make the effort to keep this going.
I've realised that I blog most often whenever I'm unhappy or upset about something, but I guess that's just how it is with me. I'd exhaust all my coping strategies (from talking to friends to dabbling in work to soaking myself in soppy tunes to simply refusing to think about it) and when nothing works, I'd come to my blog with my eyes tearing, hoping to find peace within myself after a few rounds of pounding away on the keyboard.. and often, I find myself stopping short of finishing the entry, simply because the method has worked and that I need not continue with the therapy.
Also, I guess it could be attributed to me being lazy and the horrid tendency of me starting something and not having the patience to finish it off.
Yup, I'm not the most patient person in the world.
I find that occurring when I'm reading sometimes. I would flip open a book totally eager and enthusiastic, and within the next few chapters the motivation fizzles away. And I'd be dying to find out what happens at the end of the book. This does not work with some of the books I read though, so I'd be forced to read it word for word.
Not really 'forced' la. I still like reading nonetheless. But often I find myself fighting this urge to flip past the page that I was still reading, or the urge to hurriedly scan towards end of the page to see what was about to happen to the protagonist.
One of my good friends commented on this behaviour of mine before. "3-second heat", she called it. If I'm not mistaken, she translated the phrase directly from Chinese - to describe an individual's short-lived enthusiasm.
I guess I can see why she has used the term on me. There seem to be something that lacks within myself to push myself through these events. Sometimes, even through things that really really matter to me.
I'm not sure what it is. Short attention span? Lack of motivation? Non-existent discipline?
Hmmm.
Whatever it is, I'm gonna make sure all of these habits get buried along with the rest of my not-so-wonderful past.
Well of course, you can't bury your past completely. You are after all, made up of your past - the good, the bad and the fugly. Do not attempt to escape it. Learn from it.
Having said that, this new blog is not an escape from my past in my previous blogs. I merely do not like the sparse amount of content in them. Embarrassed, if you may. This new blog of mine will be filled up to no end.. even when the only reader left in the world is me, me and me.
And, on a completely random note... I. LOVE. ME! :D
I've realised that I blog most often whenever I'm unhappy or upset about something, but I guess that's just how it is with me. I'd exhaust all my coping strategies (from talking to friends to dabbling in work to soaking myself in soppy tunes to simply refusing to think about it) and when nothing works, I'd come to my blog with my eyes tearing, hoping to find peace within myself after a few rounds of pounding away on the keyboard.. and often, I find myself stopping short of finishing the entry, simply because the method has worked and that I need not continue with the therapy.
Also, I guess it could be attributed to me being lazy and the horrid tendency of me starting something and not having the patience to finish it off.
Yup, I'm not the most patient person in the world.
I find that occurring when I'm reading sometimes. I would flip open a book totally eager and enthusiastic, and within the next few chapters the motivation fizzles away. And I'd be dying to find out what happens at the end of the book. This does not work with some of the books I read though, so I'd be forced to read it word for word.
Not really 'forced' la. I still like reading nonetheless. But often I find myself fighting this urge to flip past the page that I was still reading, or the urge to hurriedly scan towards end of the page to see what was about to happen to the protagonist.
One of my good friends commented on this behaviour of mine before. "3-second heat", she called it. If I'm not mistaken, she translated the phrase directly from Chinese - to describe an individual's short-lived enthusiasm.
I guess I can see why she has used the term on me. There seem to be something that lacks within myself to push myself through these events. Sometimes, even through things that really really matter to me.
I'm not sure what it is. Short attention span? Lack of motivation? Non-existent discipline?
Hmmm.
Whatever it is, I'm gonna make sure all of these habits get buried along with the rest of my not-so-wonderful past.
Well of course, you can't bury your past completely. You are after all, made up of your past - the good, the bad and the fugly. Do not attempt to escape it. Learn from it.
Having said that, this new blog is not an escape from my past in my previous blogs. I merely do not like the sparse amount of content in them. Embarrassed, if you may. This new blog of mine will be filled up to no end.. even when the only reader left in the world is me, me and me.
And, on a completely random note... I. LOVE. ME! :D
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