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Showing posts with label narcissistic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissistic. Show all posts
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Essentially me
I've moved around many blogs over years I've been blogging. This is probably my 7th or 8th blog, from the ones I regularly updated to the ones in which I'd posted perhaps only one or two entries. I'm not sure how long this will last. But I guess I'll make the effort to keep this going.
I've realised that I blog most often whenever I'm unhappy or upset about something, but I guess that's just how it is with me. I'd exhaust all my coping strategies (from talking to friends to dabbling in work to soaking myself in soppy tunes to simply refusing to think about it) and when nothing works, I'd come to my blog with my eyes tearing, hoping to find peace within myself after a few rounds of pounding away on the keyboard.. and often, I find myself stopping short of finishing the entry, simply because the method has worked and that I need not continue with the therapy.
Also, I guess it could be attributed to me being lazy and the horrid tendency of me starting something and not having the patience to finish it off.
Yup, I'm not the most patient person in the world.
I find that occurring when I'm reading sometimes. I would flip open a book totally eager and enthusiastic, and within the next few chapters the motivation fizzles away. And I'd be dying to find out what happens at the end of the book. This does not work with some of the books I read though, so I'd be forced to read it word for word.
Not really 'forced' la. I still like reading nonetheless. But often I find myself fighting this urge to flip past the page that I was still reading, or the urge to hurriedly scan towards end of the page to see what was about to happen to the protagonist.
One of my good friends commented on this behaviour of mine before. "3-second heat", she called it. If I'm not mistaken, she translated the phrase directly from Chinese - to describe an individual's short-lived enthusiasm.
I guess I can see why she has used the term on me. There seem to be something that lacks within myself to push myself through these events. Sometimes, even through things that really really matter to me.
I'm not sure what it is. Short attention span? Lack of motivation? Non-existent discipline?
Hmmm.
Whatever it is, I'm gonna make sure all of these habits get buried along with the rest of my not-so-wonderful past.
Well of course, you can't bury your past completely. You are after all, made up of your past - the good, the bad and the fugly. Do not attempt to escape it. Learn from it.
Having said that, this new blog is not an escape from my past in my previous blogs. I merely do not like the sparse amount of content in them. Embarrassed, if you may. This new blog of mine will be filled up to no end.. even when the only reader left in the world is me, me and me.
And, on a completely random note... I. LOVE. ME! :D
I've realised that I blog most often whenever I'm unhappy or upset about something, but I guess that's just how it is with me. I'd exhaust all my coping strategies (from talking to friends to dabbling in work to soaking myself in soppy tunes to simply refusing to think about it) and when nothing works, I'd come to my blog with my eyes tearing, hoping to find peace within myself after a few rounds of pounding away on the keyboard.. and often, I find myself stopping short of finishing the entry, simply because the method has worked and that I need not continue with the therapy.
Also, I guess it could be attributed to me being lazy and the horrid tendency of me starting something and not having the patience to finish it off.
Yup, I'm not the most patient person in the world.
I find that occurring when I'm reading sometimes. I would flip open a book totally eager and enthusiastic, and within the next few chapters the motivation fizzles away. And I'd be dying to find out what happens at the end of the book. This does not work with some of the books I read though, so I'd be forced to read it word for word.
Not really 'forced' la. I still like reading nonetheless. But often I find myself fighting this urge to flip past the page that I was still reading, or the urge to hurriedly scan towards end of the page to see what was about to happen to the protagonist.
One of my good friends commented on this behaviour of mine before. "3-second heat", she called it. If I'm not mistaken, she translated the phrase directly from Chinese - to describe an individual's short-lived enthusiasm.
I guess I can see why she has used the term on me. There seem to be something that lacks within myself to push myself through these events. Sometimes, even through things that really really matter to me.
I'm not sure what it is. Short attention span? Lack of motivation? Non-existent discipline?
Hmmm.
Whatever it is, I'm gonna make sure all of these habits get buried along with the rest of my not-so-wonderful past.
Well of course, you can't bury your past completely. You are after all, made up of your past - the good, the bad and the fugly. Do not attempt to escape it. Learn from it.
Having said that, this new blog is not an escape from my past in my previous blogs. I merely do not like the sparse amount of content in them. Embarrassed, if you may. This new blog of mine will be filled up to no end.. even when the only reader left in the world is me, me and me.
And, on a completely random note... I. LOVE. ME! :D
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